by Leyi Lei
Photo by Elena Koycheva on Unsplash
It’s hard to describe being an introvert, and it’s harder to describe the process it takes for me to ask for help.
While I’m not the most reserved or anti-social person, I definitely feel introverted during days where I have had to engage in a lot of social interaction. Getting out of my comfort zone to talk to strangers for a night is all fine and dandy, but then I end up self-imposing a one week buffer period in between these social events where I can stay home and relax. People have called this self-imposed isolation period as “charging your battery,” which is a phrase I warmly welcome into my vocabulary because it makes me seem less odd the next time I describe it.
Help manifests itself in different forms throughout my life, and it’s hard to pinpoint a certain instance where I’ve needed help because I’ve always tried to resolve it by myself first. This is generally a good way to start solving a problem, but if you’re like me and you end up spending more time struggling with it than making progress, it begins to feel counterproductive.
Hours turn into days and days into weeks, which isn’t the best result when the majority of my time is spent as a student with deadlines. The logical thing would be to ask an instructor or even a friend for help. When I’m in a coffee shop and want someone to watch my things, it makes sense to ask the person next to you. I mean, if anyone came up to me I’d be more than happy to help. I’ve always been good about it online, and I wish there was some way I could direct a message to the person next to me without having to initiate it in-person.
But the feeling of dread creeps up on me and my stomach already begins to sour when I even think about starting to ask. At this point, this isn’t just introversion, but my brain is making too many synaptic connections to process another thought.
So yeah, asking for help is hard. But I’ve been building a stockpile of discomfort my whole life that it’s now just gotten a little bit easier. One push outside of my comfort zone every time really adds up. Lately, the Mayo app has really helped me with these fears of initiating conversation and asking for help. I realize that my eagerness to give help is the same feeling someone else has when I ask for help, and that I shouldn’t be afraid the next time I tap somebody on the shoulder, or even shooting a message through the Mayo app.
The one thing I always keep in mind when asking for help now, is that feeling I get when giving help. And of course, to think of progress, not perfection.
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